17/08/2009 by Ted.

A simple thought on Truth.

If you can start the day without caffeine,
if you can get along without pep pills,
if you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,
If you can get excited and cheerful when seeing your loved ones after a small absence, as if it were the very first time you set eyes upon them in ages,
If your love for man does not erode with habit and time but always remain steadfastly the same, no matter how little or bad attention you are getting,
If you can accept verbal and physical abuse without automatic resentment, desire for revenge, and the need to show your inborn physical power and ability to inflict harm,
If you do not need to be proven “right” and others “wrong.”
If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,
If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it,
If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time,
If you can overlook it when those you loved ones take it out on you when, through no fault of yours, something goes wrong,
If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,
If you can ignore a friend’s limited education and never correct him,
If you can resist treating a rich friend better than a poor friend,
If you cannot stand fear-thoughts addressed at you by  others, and only relate to love,
If you only read the intention and heart of man and not his external appearance,
If you can face the world without lies and deceit, always expressing your true feelings,
If you can always jump and get excited at the fragrance, beauty and eternal energy bestowed by the natural world,
If you would even forgo your life away without a moment of doubt in the name of Love,
If you realize that you are here to protect and guard the integrity and security of all your extended family,
If you accept death and dying as a natural cycle of Eternity,
If you can conquer tension without medical help,
If you can relax without liquor,
If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,
If you can honestly say that deep in your heart you have no prejudice against creed, color, religion or politics,
Then my dear friends you will have approached the level of spiritual development of your dog.

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16/08/2009 by Ted.

You are probably well aware that, according to quantum physics, matter only comes into existence when it is observed.

As I peered into the teapot this morning I suddenly realised that there is another angle to this fact - the contrary applies when the matter in question is contained within a brown teapot.  I knew that I had earlier observed into existence and dropped into the teapot three teabags before brewing my pot of tea, but, mysteriously, as I peered into the now empty teapot, and once again observed the teabags which I knew were in there, they, contrarily,  had, although now observed again, continued to not exist and were nowhere to be seen. 

It was only when I ceased to observe them, filled the teapot with clean water from the tap, swirled it round and then tipped the contents into the sink that the teabags came into existence again..

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12/08/2009 by Ted.

‘Twas on a Monday morning the gas man came to call.
The gas tap wouldn’t turn - I wasn’t getting gas at all.
He tore out all the skirting boards to try and find the main
And I had to call a carpenter to put them back again.

‘Twas on a Tuesday morning the carpenter came round.
He hammered and he chiselled and he said:
“Look what I’ve found: your joists are full of dry rot
But I’ll put them all to rights”.
Then he nailed right through a cable and out went all the lights!

‘Twas on a Wednesday morning the electrician came.
He called me Mr. Sanderson, which isn’t quite the name.
He couldn’t reach the fuse box without standing on the bin
And his foot went through a window so I called the glazier in

‘Twas on a Thursday morning the glazier came round
With his blow torch and his putty and his merry glazier’s song.
He put another pane in - it took no time at all
But I had to get a painter in to come and paint the wall.

‘Twas on a Friday morning the painter made a start.
With undercoats and overcoats he painted every part:
Every nook and every cranny - but I found when he was gone
He’d painted over the gas tap and I couldn’t turn it on!

On Saturday and Sunday they do no work at all;
So ’twas on a Monday morning that the gasman came to call…

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10/08/2009 by Ted.

Einstein’s Riddle

The story behind Einstein’s riddle is that Albert Einstein created it in the late 1800s, and claimed that 98% of the world population couldn’t solve it. I am not sure of the true origin, but I have seen this one floating around the internet, and it is a good brain exercise. Here it is:

- In a street there are five houses, painted five different colors.

- In each house lives a person of different nationality.

- These five homeowners each drink a different kind of beverage, smoke different brand of cigar and keep a different pet.

Einstein’s riddle is: Who owns the fish?

Necessary clues:

1. The British man lives in a red house.
2. The Swedish man keeps dogs as pets.
3. The Danish man drinks tea.
4. The Green house is next to, and on the left of the White house.
5. The owner of the Green house drinks coffee.
6. The person who smokes Pall Mall rears birds.
7. The owner of the Yellow house smokes Dunhill.
8. The man living in the center house drinks milk.
9. The Norwegian lives in the first house.
10. The man who smokes Blends lives next to the one who keeps cats.
11. The man who keeps horses lives next to the man who smokes Dunhill.
12. The man who smokes Blue Master drinks beer.
13. The German smokes Prince.
14. The Norwegian lives next to the blue house.
15. The Blends smoker lives next to the one who drinks water.

SOLUTION: See the EINSTEIN’S RIDDLE section in the right hand column!
Ted used a spreadsheet to work it out in seventeen minutes.

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